mini thoughts of the night.

I tend to go off into a dark place and feel as if I’m not worth it… But lately, when I get to a weird place in my life, I separate myself from the world. I have come to terms that I am really misunderstood and that’s a good thing! It shows me that I am not normal. Something is different from me and I have a gift that I need to share with people. Finding my purpose is definitely a process, (not an easy one, for sure) but I am ready to learn AND accept what God has called upon my life. I am having a really interesting time figuring out who I am, where I want to be, and trusting that I am going to get there. I know many people my age are lost. Not saying that they are living a bad life, but they aren’t living with a purpose. Just kinda walking with a blindfold, hoping to find a way. Any way. I don’t want to be that way and I will not be that. I constantly say this, but I have big dreams. Trying to stay behind the scenes as of now until I get my spiritual well being into a new level. Then it’ll be my time to show the world the blessings of the Glo Up! Lol just stay tuned, guys. Thank you to anyone who’s watching and believes in me! Even if it’s from a distance. I appreciate all the love! 

don’t give up

completely emotional this morning. I haven’t cried in a while and I cried today because I feel like giving up. The world seems to beat me down when I’m already 6 feet under. I pray faithfully and I talk to God constantly, so that’s what keeps me going. My time is coming. I can feel it. I can see it! 👊🏾 keep pushing. 

detailed descriptions.

you ever look at someone and notice all of their features in detail? Like, your nose is actually pretty small. Your hair is longer than I thought. Omg, your lips are perfect. I can’t believe I didn’t see you had a beauty mark on your forehead. Lol it’s really interesting what you see when you really pay attention. 

what’s love got to do with it? 

We were put on this earth to love and help others. I strongly believe that. Or at least, that’s my purpose. I pray about being a better me and God just tells me to love harder and somehow my life always gets easier that way. 

I was never the affectionate person or even a person to really tell anyone how I felt about them or told them I was appreciative. My parents never said they loved me verbally, but I KNEW they did. My siblings fought and bickered, but we KNEW we loved each other. My friends were always there for me and they KNEW that I was always there too… But why weren’t we verbal about it? I couldn’t even begin to tell you. Subconsciously, it was bothering me.  I started feeling distant from everyone cause I felt really unappreciated because no one ever expressed their love for me. Which was really selfish, because I wasn’t doing it either. So I just asked God for some guidance. I wanted to learn how to love. 

First, it started with me loving God. I dedicated my life back to Him and slowly, but surely grew this incredible relationship with Him that’s unexplainable. I talked to him everyday, prayed everyday. Even if it was just 5 minutes . I was constantly talking to Him. I realized that I had fallen in love all over again. Things started to become a lot clearer. I had a different way of walking and talking . Smiling all the time. God loved me and I knew it. So that just made me want to love myself. 

I suddenly started to crave love. Any and everything about it. Lol literally researching. Book after book. Scripture after scripture. I was hungry! I started shifting my mind on how I felt about myself. My flaws didn’t seem so unbearable anymore. I could look in the mirror and actually smile and feel good. Physically, I was beautiful and I believed it. My heart became so pure because love is the only thing I constantly thought about. Loving others. Loving me! Now, that’s all I ever do. Lol. I’m constantly saying I love you to my dad, siblings, family & friends. I have so much love around me. I started telling all of my loved ones just how I felt every chance I got. Whether it’s complimenting them, expressing my love, or just simply letting them know that they’re appreciated.  I was getting better. I didn’t feel so empty anymore. My heart was full. 

I know this is bunch of rambling, but i am so happy to tell people that I was not always like how I am now. I was so angry, bitter, and naive about everything and God put love in my heart and made my life have meaning. You can do it too. Literally a prayer away. God can start working on your heart. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

6 am and I feel in love ..

I am so blessed to be loved by a man of your caliber. You love me in spite of and I love you more for that. You’re my breath of fresh air. I can breathe freely in your presence. You make my lips a little sweeter and my smile a lot brighter. You’re the man of all of my dreams. I love you to the next galaxy and back 💜👑 my King 💙

It’s Not Just You

The Daily Dahlia

Confession: probably my biggest pet peeve on the planet is when people start a question with “Am I the only one who…?” No. You’re not. You’re not the only one who writes that way, reads that way, likes that food, likes that band, thinks Benedict Cumberbatch sounds like a Game of Thrones character or looks like someone squeezed Spongebob and stuck googly eyes on him…you’re just not. But. There’s a different kind of “Is it just me?” feeling, and that’s the stress of when you’re drowning in something and nobody’s talking about it and you feel like everyone’s got it together but you, and so you don’t wanna say a thing, and it all snowballs until you basically wanna curl up and die. I know that feeling. It’s why I wrote this post after splitting with my first agent. So in case you are wondering any of these things, I…

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whoa! 

  I’ve been working so hard because I have a dream so big. Working out is such a relief for me (it also gives me a nice butt, so no complaints 😊😉) I have been thinking about getting my personal trainer certification for quite some time, but of course I’m the Queen of Procrastination! I want to help women that think it’s impossible to get fit, motivate them to be the best they can be physically and mentally. Working out is not only for the nice body, but also replenishing your mind. It’s very therapeutic and rewarding. You see results and you feel so much better about yourself because you worked your ass off to get that nice butt or those nice chiseled legs. Ugh! I have so many ideas just rushing through this big noggin of mine and I just want to share my joy and excitement with you guys. I will keep you guys updated 😘